Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dirty Little Secret.

Here' a lovely self-portrait of me and three of my buddies at the premiere of New Moon. (I'm middle top.) Yes, we went to the midnight showing. Yes, we are all over 30. Heck, most of us are over 35. And, yes, we have the Edward/Jacob debate. Don't make fun. It's not nice.

The movie is a pile of puke. Really, it is, but I am watching it right now, and I am completely ticked off that Bella and Jacob keep getting interrupted right. before. they kiss. You seem I am Team Jacob. Sure, Edward is prettier than any human should be, but he's just so stinkin' dramatic. And a little bit like a wet rag. Plus, I can't get over the sparkling. Vampires sparkle? Since when?

Jacob is all testosterone and earnest and warm. Why would you choose a cold statue over warm flesh and blood? I just don't get it, Bella.

But, back to ripping apart the movie. Kristen Stewart's acting ability seems to be limited to chewing on her lower lip. Robert Pattinson looks INTENSE and Taylor Lautner may win for best abs and pecs and shoulders, but he's still young and awkward. Jasper looks like someone grabbed his butt. And his hair is awful. The action scenes are completely over-the-top. . Yet, I watch. Why? Because I am a sucker for true love. Even in Hollywood form. And even if I wish true love was with a werewolf instead of a vampire.

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