Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Dirty Little Secret.

Here' a lovely self-portrait of me and three of my buddies at the premiere of New Moon. (I'm middle top.) Yes, we went to the midnight showing. Yes, we are all over 30. Heck, most of us are over 35. And, yes, we have the Edward/Jacob debate. Don't make fun. It's not nice.

The movie is a pile of puke. Really, it is, but I am watching it right now, and I am completely ticked off that Bella and Jacob keep getting interrupted right. before. they kiss. You seem I am Team Jacob. Sure, Edward is prettier than any human should be, but he's just so stinkin' dramatic. And a little bit like a wet rag. Plus, I can't get over the sparkling. Vampires sparkle? Since when?

Jacob is all testosterone and earnest and warm. Why would you choose a cold statue over warm flesh and blood? I just don't get it, Bella.

But, back to ripping apart the movie. Kristen Stewart's acting ability seems to be limited to chewing on her lower lip. Robert Pattinson looks INTENSE and Taylor Lautner may win for best abs and pecs and shoulders, but he's still young and awkward. Jasper looks like someone grabbed his butt. And his hair is awful. The action scenes are completely over-the-top. . Yet, I watch. Why? Because I am a sucker for true love. Even in Hollywood form. And even if I wish true love was with a werewolf instead of a vampire.

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Monday, April 26, 2010

Ultimate Bad Hair Day

That's me, on the right. And my little sister, on the left. She has threatened to kill me in the past for posting this photo. I am taking my life into my own hands by sharing this with you, my nonexistent readers.
This was Easter Sunday, 1986. I remember how I wanted that dress, had to have that dress, thought I was going to die if I didn't have that dress (actually skirt and shirt.) I don't know if I thought I would look a little like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Maybe the mauve plaid was just too tempting. The cute little round collar? And beads to match. I was hot.
But really, am I ignoring the elephant in the room? Holy balls of fire, look at that hair. You see, my sister and I were not allowed to cut our hair. "Little girls have long hair," stated my father. My mother went along with it, but made sure he had to brush the bird's nest snarls we'd get every once in a while. Somewhere along the way, we convinced Dad to let us have bangs. And then those bangs steadily marched backwards until the entire crown of our heads were "bangs." And then mom got tired of curling said bangs (have I mentioned that my sister and I have stick-straight hair?) so we got ourselves some Ogilvie Home Perms. Sweet, huh?
The end result was this. Mega Mullets.
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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Curiousity killed my productivity

I feel like the old man on that awesome 90's TV show, "Wings." Do you remember him? The one who asked all of the questions? "I wonder how much this building weighs?"

Point being, I start to wonder about something and then I want an answer NOW. Not in an hour, certainly not later, definitely not tomorrow. I need it NOW. So, I whined until I got myself a smart phone. But, I digress.

Question of the day: What day of the year has the highest percentage of births in the US? The drive behind this question came from logging onto Facebook today and seeing that I have six friends with birthdays today. Add to that two friends who are not on Facebook and my dear daughter, that brings my total to NINE people that I know personally with birthdays on April 25.

I don't know about you, but that seems to be statistically significant. But, I never took stats, so I am just talking out of mybackside now.

Of course, my good friend Google and I started looking for this infomation. I came across several sites that stated that October 5 is the most common birth date in the United States. But, I don't know a single soul born on October 5. How can that be true?

These are the things that keep me up at night.